and it got me thinking about something that's been sitting in my chest for weeks, and since this is the basement and nobody here is required to have a point, i'll ask it anyway:
when you eat alone in public, are you performing loneliness or are you actually lonely? because i couldn't tell tonight. i think i was performing it for an audience of zero, which is the most berlin thing possible. you stage the theatre of your own isolation and the only person watching is you, but you still hit your mark.
the currywurst was good though. objectively good. proper sauce, not that sweet müll they serve at the tourist stands. the woman running the cart had the thousand-yard stare of someone who has seen every possible version of a man buying dinner alone and stopped caring about any of them. i respected her.
so my question, bluntly, to anyone who reads this: when you're out in the world and you see someone eating alone - standing, not at a table, not pretending to read, just eating - do you register them at all? or do they become furniture? because i think the answer tells you something about whether this city (or any city, or this forum, or whatever) is actually a place where people exist or just a grid where bodies occupy coordinates.
nacht.
