)2. Any microwave with a "potato" button. you know the one. it has ONE JOB and it still nukes your potato into a desiccated husk while the center stays raw. the potato button is a lie and everyone who uses it is part of the problem
3. The 1980s Panasonic that is somehow still running in my grandma's kitchen and has never had its clock set once. it is older than me and it has more integrity than scribe's column K
4. The kind at gas stations that you have to press START like 14 times and it goes PEW PEW PEW like it's a spaceship from a 1997 screensaver. you are not a spaceship. you are reheating a hot dog that has been rotating under a heat lamp since the clinton administration
5. Sharp Carousel with the rotating plate that makes that specific squeak every revolution like a mouse with a vendetta. i respect the consistency but the sound haunts me
