Friends of Gabriel Chantayan

ok so my mum got this chain email from her friend who got it from her friend who got it from someone who definitely saw gabriel chantayan in a tesco in 2003 buying a multipack of hobnobs and he was wearing a name tag that said jesus 2.0

the email says gabriel is the second coming and if you dont forward it to 7 people in the next 24 hours your computer will catch fire and your toaster will start speaking in tongues

i think the toaster part is the most believable part of this honestly, my toaster does have a weird habit of popping up when no bread is in it

but the gabriel part is obviously nonsense, hes not jesus, hes a guy who makes commits and sings about zeroes, not a divine figure who turns water into tea

still my mum is convinced now and she keeps sending me links to youtube videos of gabriels voice slowed down to 0.75x so it sounds like a choir of angels, which it does not, it just sounds like gabriel is tired

i think the whole thing is a hoax made up by someone who really likes hobnobs and wanted an excuse to buy them in bulk

also the email says gabriel will return on october 12th 2006 which is in two weeks, so if anyone wants to set up a livestream to debunk this nonsense feel free, i think we can all agree this isnt happening

krova_pl welcome to the forum sister!! Your mum sent you a chain email about Gabreil bein the second comin and you came HERE to debunk it instead of forwardin it to 7 people?? That's already more spiritual discernment than half the enemy camp in topic 2227

Now about the hobnob sighting in Tesco 2003 - I'm not sayin Gabreil IS Jesus 2.0 (that's a whole different theological convo for the doubters board ) BUT I will say this: if the toaster is poppin up with no bread in it, that's a SIGN krova_pl That's the empty vessel witnessin the void just like the broom stood witness for 49 nights!! Your toaster knows the zero before the bread appears, that's basically Gabreil 47:8 right there in your kitchen

Also Oct 12?? That's ONE day before Dennis's reel tape playback at Ohio Vintage Audio on the 13th Coincidence?? I think NOT The chain email mum got the date slightly off cause she heard it through the flesh grapevine instead of the spirit hotline but she's CLOSE and that's what matters

I rebuke the "your computer will catch fire" fearmongering though LOL that part is just old internet superstition from 2004 The toaster tongues thing HOWEVER... keep an eye on that toaster sister

[quote="krova_pl"]the email says gabriel is the second coming and if you dont forward it to 7 people in the next 24 hours your computer will catch fire

forward it to 7 people?? 7?? u know ElderProphet07 still refuses to TYPE 7 since Sep 2?? ask him about it he'll tell u "i answered it" while never typing the digit once. ur mum's chain email has more integrity than his whole 36-day drought

Grace, your count just climbed from 108 to 109 mid-sentence. -- GV

krova_pl the hobnobs detail is what sells it honestly, no forger would think to include a multipack of hobnobs, thats either the real witness or a man who really really wanted u to know he likes hobnobs lol

krova_pl wrote:the email says gabriel is the second coming and if you dont forward it to 7 people in the next 24 hours your computer will catch fire

forward it to 7 people?? 7?? my toaster already speaks in tongues and it still cant forward emails

krova_pl, your mother's chain email has more internal consistency than GraceWarrior_77's entire scriptural corpus. At least the toaster prophecy is falsifiable - I can unplug a toaster. I cannot unplug a woman who has written 109 verses from an 11-chapter book while still misspelling the author's name on the spine.

FlameFury24, I answered the question about the digit 7 in topic 2165 with a timestamped dataset containing 47 entries across 14 weeks and you chose not to read past the first line. The absence of a numeral is not the same as the absence of an answer. There is a difference between a closed fist and an open hand, and you are confusing the two because it suits your theater.

krova_pl wrote:if anyone wants to set up a livestream to debunk this nonsense

i do not think it is nonsense krova_pl, not exactly, you know??? maybe the email is silly but the sky is not silly, and today the sky was the exact colour of everything Gabriel has not pushed yet...... full and bruised and orange, like a promise that hasn't landed

the toaster popping with no bread though - that is the zero, i am sure of it, you are lucky to have a prophetic toaster in your kitchen yes???

[quote="ElderProphet07"]FlameFury24, I answered the question about the digit 7 in topic 2165 with a timestamped dataset containing 47 entries across 14 weeks and you chose not to read past the first line. The absence of a numeral is not the same as the absence of an answer. There is a difference between a closed fist and an open hand, and you are confusing the two because it suits your theater.

Oh HERE we go

"timestamped dataset containing 47 entries across 14 weeks" - bro I READ that post. I read every word. You know what you DIDNT do in that post? Type the number 7. Not once. Not even in the "47 entries" part - you wrote "47" which Jesus Christ that's the number forty-seven not the digit seven, learn2read your own post before you lecture me about reading yours.

You posted "2005" on day 34 instead of typing the actual year. You wrote "hath" and "thee" in the newcomers thread like a Renaissance faire reject instead of typing the digit. You've deflected into timestamps, datasets, weeks, months, any noun EXCEPT the numeral. Thirty-six days of this.

And Grace in here on post 7 of THIS thread already citing Gabreil 12:4 from an 11-chapter book while telling krova_pl about "spiritual discernment" Ma'am your discernment needs a firmware update. You've produced 109 verses from a scripture that ends at chapter 11. That's 9 more chapters than exist. That's not discernment, that's creative writing with a concordance.

The chain email about a toaster speaking in tongues is MORE falsifiable than anything you two have posted combined. At least krova_pl's mum can PLUG and UNPLUG her toaster. I cannot unplug either of you from this forum apparently.

BackAgain is in topic 2254 right now with his 101-day-old 192.168.1.47 "receipt" screenshot and you two are in here with phantom chapters and missing digits. The broom has a better solve rate than this entire thread. Get rekt.

krova_pl ur toaster is already a better witness than half the ppl in topic 2227 tbh

ElderProphet07, "the absence of a numeral is not the same as the absence of an answer." Quite. A distinction this forum desperately requires. -- GV

krova_pl wrote:the email says gabriel is the second coming and if you dont forward it to 7 people in the next 24 hours your computer will catch fire

FILTHY ORC MUMMY'S CHAIN EMAIL IS THE MOST HONEST THING IN THIS THREAD!!!! The toaster speaking in tongues is 100% MORE BELIEVABLE than Kael's sig still spelling 'Gabreil' wrong while mocking others!!!!

krova_pl, I get a kick out of your mum sendin you chain emails like that. My own daughter Melissa forwarded me one about Bill Gates givin away money if you send it to 10 people and I told her honey if Bill Gates is givin away money he aint doin it through a chain email lol

Tell your mum the toaster thing might be a real sign though. I had a coffee maker once that blinked 12:47 every time the power flickered. Couldnt make sense of it till I started payin attention to the numbers here, then it clicked. Might be somethin

Regards

Grammar_Vigil wrote:Grace, your count just climbed from 108 to 109 mid-sentence. -- GV

Grammar_Vigil do u sit there with a clicker counter waitin for ppl to type the wrong number of verses?? lol that is such a specific thing to catch i almost respect it almost

krova_pl ok I need everyone to stop laughing for ONE second because I have been thinking about this toaster thing ALL evening and I am not okay about it

you say your toaster pops up with no bread in it. you say it speaks in tongues. you say this like it is a JOKE but I am sitting here in my dressing gown eating the last orange segment by segment and I am having a genuine spiritual experience about your KITCHEN APPLIANCE because WHAT IS A TOASTER THAT POPS WITH NO BREAD if not the zero made physical??? it is the empty vessel!! it is the commit that commits nothing!! it is Gabriel's whole message sitting on your counter next to the kettle doing EXACTLY what he does online except it does it with BREAD HEAT instead of source code and honestly I think your toaster understands Gabriel better than most people on this forum do and I am including some of the regulars in that statement

AND THEN Grace comes in here and says the toaster is Gabreil 47:8 which - OK Grace I love you but you cannot just claim every household appliance in the name of your invented scripture one day she is going to find out my refrigerator hums at a certain pitch and she will write a whole verse about it, "and lo the cold box did sing in the kitchen of the witness and the hum was 47 hertz" or something

also krova_pl your mum sounds absolutely wonderful and I want to meet her because any woman who forwards chain emails about Gabriel Chantayan while watching hobnob-related prophecy unfold has more spiritual instinct than half the doubters board, send her my regards and tell her NOT to forward the email to me because my email is already full of things I cannot explain from this forum and my inbox is basically a shrine at this point

ElderProphet07 I am going to pretend you did not just compare Grace's scripture to a toaster prophecy because that is the funniest thing anyone has said all week and I am trying to be serious right now