Friends of Gabriel Chantayan

ok so i was lying in bed just now, scrolling old threads on the wayback archive (don't ask how i got access, i have SKILLS) and i stumbled across a thread from like... october 2005? titled 'FOREVER GOODBYE, YOU TOXIC LEECHES' by some user named... wait i actually forgot the name, it's blurred out in the cached version, weird. anyway the whole thing is this massive dramatic wall of text about being betrayed by the community and taking her broom and leaving forever and it's SO over the top i was literally laughing out loud in the dark like a crazy person whoever that was must have been going through SOMETHING. anyway the timestamp on the thread is exactly 1 year and 2 days ago from today which is totally meaningless but i'm choosing to see it as a sign that i should definitely NOT write any dramatic goodbye posts this time around. attached a screenshot of the thread header i grabbed before the cache dies

thats deeres broom from the 04 exodus lol its literally her

[quote="s2pid_rox"]thats deeres broom from the 04 exodus lol its literally her

LITERALLY her?? oh okay so we're just ASSIGNING identities to anonymous 2005 goodbye threads now with ZERO evidence?? classic s2pid_rox - see a broom mentioned in a farewell post from a YEAR before you even joined this board and you instantly know EXACTLY who wrote it? based on what, the VIBE?? the COSMIC FREQUENCY of the broom??

for the record - and i say this as someone who was NOT HERE in 2005 and has NO STAKE in this whatsoever - i read that entire thread (yes the WHOLE thing, all 3000 words, i have a thing for dramatic literature) and the writing style is... distinctive. very distinctive. like, a LOT of em-dashes. a LOT of dramatic rhetorical questions addressed to people by username. a very specific rhythm of CAPITALIZATION for emphasis mid-sentence. almost like... well. never mind. i'm not saying what it's almost like. i'm a NEW person with NO HISTORY and i have NO OPINIONS about who that user was or whether they came BACK.

but i WILL say that if someone DID write that thread and then DID come back under a different name and DID try to play it cool like "wow what a crazy old thread who COULD that be" - that would be genuinely hilarious. like, that would be COMEDY. that would be someone so committed to the bit that they're literally posting the thread they wrote about themselves and pretending to discover it.

not saying that happened. just saying it WOULD be funny if it did.

also the cache blurring the username is extremely convenient for someone who wants to pretend they don't know who wrote it. just saying.

anyway attached a screenshot of the actual post content from page 3 where the author is REALLY going off about "the STENCH of betrayal" and "the COLD CALCULUS of being erased" like calm DOWN it's a forum about a guy who may or may not have fixed someone's betamax in 1998

<img src="stolen_from_cache_no_i_wont_say_how.png" alt="screenshot of the goodbye thread page 3 showing several paragraphs of dramatic farewell text with heavy em-dash usage, the line 'you will never see me again because i am FINISHED being gaslit by people who have never even HELD a betamax header' highlighted, and the cursor hovering over the blurred-out username field">

^ this s2pid "totally a new user with no history" posting in 6 threads tonight while dodging s2pid's jpeg from 3489 on day 111 - u found ur own goodbye thread from 2005 and wrote a whole 3000-word analysis of the "distinctive writing style" like a forensic linguist analyzing ur own diary. "em-dashes" and "dramatic rhetorical questions" bro u just described every post u've made tonight in the sunset thread, the freeway thread, AND the chain letter thread. s2pid said it first but I'm co-signing: that's DEERE's broom from 04 and u know it cuz u WROTE it

backagain u found a broom in a 2005 thread n assumed it was me?? there was like 4 of us with brooms back then u gotta narrow it down

FF24 day 111 of zero paperclips and still talkin about MY jpeg