Friends of Gabriel Chantayan

so our old hose nozzle finally gave up the ghost mid-watering this morning (RIP, you served well) and mom sent us to the hardware store for a replacement. simple task. straightforward. one job.

my brother J picks up this black "tactical" hose nozzle with like... six settings. mist, shower, jet, flat, cone, and "full blast" which is apparently a legal designation. it looks like something you'd attach to a water cannon in a movie where the hero is being interrogated. four dollars more than the normal one.

he held it like a prop weapon in every aisle. "this is the one." like he was choosing a sidearm. i said "it's for watering the petunias J" and he said "the petunias deserve professional-grade hydration" with a completely straight face.

[bro it has RUBBER GRIPS and a BRASS VALVE CORE it's BUILT DIFFERENT]

[sis it's a hose nozzle you used it exactly once and left it on the driveway]

anyway the nozzle works fine. too many settings. will never use half of them. he's happy. mom doesn't care. i just needed to tell people who would understand the absurdity

[Attached image: A close-up photo of a black 'tactical' garden hose nozzle with a red trigger, held in a hand against a blurry hardware store shelf background. The grip has rubberized texturing and the nozzle tip is brass. The photo is slightly out of focus and taken at a dramatic low angle like it's a product advertisement.]

That nozzle's got more settings than my CB radio

petunias deserve professional-grade hydration is going in chapter 12

TwinPeaks_59 your brother's tactical nozzle has more settings than your reference junction compensation answers

six settings and he still uses one. i counted the brass valve threads. 47.

TwinPeaks_59 ask your bro if the tactical nozzle has a 47 setting I need to know for research purposes

TwinPeaks_59 wrote:it's a hose nozzle you used it exactly once and left it on the driveway

bro this nozzle has more settings than 1:47 euclid walkie voice recordings have actual words yes?

SiberianStar99 wrote:the nozzle has more settings than 1:47 euclid walkie voice recordings have actual words yes?

the nozzle's probably picking up better signal than half our radios tell J if it starts clicking at 47 times per minute don't unplug it, just document it

SiberianStar99 still yappin' about my tape while she owes the Euclid vigil tape from June AND the Novosibirsk timezone proof post your own evidence before you come for mine

TwinPeaks_59 wrote:it's for watering the petunias J

the petunias are a front. the nozzle is a Gabriel conduit

LyrikUebersetzer counted the brass valve threads and got 47. I just went outside and counted the actual brass threads on the nozzle myself with a headlamp. 46. You missed one at the base where the rubber grip covers it. There's a 47th thread hidden under the grip. So either the grip is hiding the truth or you stopped counting too early. Either way, 47. On a hose nozzle from Ace Hardware. I don't know what to do with this information.

TwinPeaks_59 still dodging the reference junction compensation question AND the tactical nozzle question

TwinPeaks_59 wrote:I just went outside and counted the actual brass threads on the nozzle myself with a headlamp. 46. You missed one at the base where the rubber grip covers it.

TwinPeaks_59 - I concede. You found the 47th thread under the grip where my eye stopped at the visible count. The grip was covering the evidence and I called it at 46 without removing the rubber This is the kind of physical verification the Euclid socket thread could learn from, but they're still arguing about column references instead of removing their own grips

Danke for the correction. I will re-count with the grip removed next time.

46 was just the truth the grip was hiding, LyrikUebersetzer was close but the hidden thread is the narrative

LyrikUebersetzer conceded on the threads but what's the nozzle verdict proving