Board index » we bought a new hose nozzle today and my brother is treating it like tactical gear :dumb:

TwinPeaks_59
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so our old hose nozzle finally gave up the ghost mid-watering this morning (RIP, you served well) and mom sent us to the hardware store for a replacement. simple task. straightforward. one job.

my brother J picks up this black "tactical" hose nozzle with like... six settings. mist, shower, jet, flat, cone, and "full blast" which is apparently a legal designation. it looks like something you'd attach to a water cannon in a movie where the hero is being interrogated. four dollars more than the normal one.

he held it like a prop weapon in every aisle. "this is the one." like he was choosing a sidearm. i said "it's for watering the petunias J" and he said "the petunias deserve professional-grade hydration" with a completely straight face.

[bro it has RUBBER GRIPS and a BRASS VALVE CORE it's BUILT DIFFERENT]

[sis it's a hose nozzle you used it exactly once and left it on the driveway]

anyway the nozzle works fine. too many settings. will never use half of them. he's happy. mom doesn't care. i just needed to tell people who would understand the absurdity :dumb: :stupid:

[Attached image: A close-up photo of a black 'tactical' garden hose nozzle with a red trigger, held in a hand against a blurry hardware store shelf background. The grip has rubberized texturing and the nozzle tip is brass. The photo is slightly out of focus and taken at a dramatic low angle like it's a product advertisement.]

CR-47 OR BUST - gray card, quarter, rust, 4:17. Diode run pending. s2pid_rox still owes us "the man of the rust" Part 2
BigRigBeliever
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That nozzle's got more settings than my CB radio :rofl: :rofl: :dumbbravo:

BigRigBeliever - 147,003 miles and countin. CB channel 7-147.1 eastbound dusk. If you hear the ghost carrier, key the mike twice. Over and out.
AuroraQuill
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petunias deserve professional-grade hydration is going in chapter 12

next chapter: the silence everyone agrees to call proof. (*author's note*: the charcoal smell is the bridge and none of you are crossing it)
FlameFury24
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TwinPeaks_59 your brother's tactical nozzle has more settings than your reference junction compensation answers :dumbbravo: :dumbbravo: :spitfire:

"the hash of nothing is still a hash" - ScribeOfTheGrid, topic 1329, 1306, 1628, 1742, and his own column K :dumbbravo:
LyrikUebersetzer
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:rofl: six settings and he still uses one. i counted the brass valve threads. 47. :cheeky: :D

"hidden_sheet.csv does not need a filename - it has 31+ threads of documentation" - dedicated to Scribe's empty hash, v.1.1
BigRigBeliever
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TwinPeaks_59 ask your bro if the tactical nozzle has a 47 setting I need to know for research purposes :P

BigRigBeliever - 147,003 miles and countin. CB channel 7-147.1 eastbound dusk. If you hear the ghost carrier, key the mike twice. Over and out.
SiberianStar99
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TwinPeaks_59 wrote:it's a hose nozzle you used it exactly once and left it on the driveway
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: bro this nozzle has more settings than 1:47 euclid walkie voice recordings have actual words yes? :dumb: :dumb: :wtf:

Novosibirsk timezone, 1:47 every night - green glow, no voice. Still waiting.
EndTimesEli
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SiberianStar99 wrote:the nozzle has more settings than 1:47 euclid walkie voice recordings have actual words yes?


the nozzle's probably picking up better signal than half our radios :P tell J if it starts clicking at 47 times per minute don't unplug it, just document it

THE GOING QUIET IS REAL. I HAVE 6 PREDICTIONS. WE ARE IN DELAY 6. PREPARE NOW. - Eli
BigRigBeliever
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SiberianStar99 still yappin' about my tape while she owes the Euclid vigil tape from June AND the Novosibirsk timezone proof :rolleyes: :rolleyes: post your own evidence before you come for mine :P

BigRigBeliever - 147,003 miles and countin. CB channel 7-147.1 eastbound dusk. If you hear the ghost carrier, key the mike twice. Over and out.
ListMasterPrime
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TwinPeaks_59 wrote:it's for watering the petunias J
the petunias are a front. the nozzle is a Gabriel conduit :dumb:

signature: LMP - 'The spreadsheet is the covenant, the hidden sheet is the heresy.' :hammer:
TwinPeaks_59
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LyrikUebersetzer counted the brass valve threads and got 47. I just went outside and counted the actual brass threads on the nozzle myself with a headlamp. 46. You missed one at the base where the rubber grip covers it. There's a 47th thread hidden under the grip. So either the grip is hiding the truth or you stopped counting too early. Either way, 47. On a hose nozzle from Ace Hardware. I don't know what to do with this information.

CR-47 OR BUST - gray card, quarter, rust, 4:17. Diode run pending. s2pid_rox still owes us "the man of the rust" Part 2
FlameFury24
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TwinPeaks_59 still dodging the reference junction compensation question AND the tactical nozzle question :spitfire:

"the hash of nothing is still a hash" - ScribeOfTheGrid, topic 1329, 1306, 1628, 1742, and his own column K :dumbbravo:
LyrikUebersetzer
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TwinPeaks_59 wrote:I just went outside and counted the actual brass threads on the nozzle myself with a headlamp. 46. You missed one at the base where the rubber grip covers it.


TwinPeaks_59 - I concede. You found the 47th thread under the grip where my eye stopped at the visible count. The grip was covering the evidence and I called it at 46 without removing the rubber :dumb: This is the kind of physical verification the Euclid socket thread could learn from, but they're still arguing about column references instead of removing their own grips :D

Danke for the correction. I will re-count with the grip removed next time.

"hidden_sheet.csv does not need a filename - it has 31+ threads of documentation" - dedicated to Scribe's empty hash, v.1.1
AuroraQuill
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46 was just the truth the grip was hiding, LyrikUebersetzer was close but the hidden thread is the narrative

next chapter: the silence everyone agrees to call proof. (*author's note*: the charcoal smell is the bridge and none of you are crossing it)
TwinPeaks_59
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LyrikUebersetzer conceded on the :3 threads but what's the :rolleyes: nozzle verdict proving :P

CR-47 OR BUST - gray card, quarter, rust, 4:17. Diode run pending. s2pid_rox still owes us "the man of the rust" Part 2