i went to the grocery store at 6:45 (perfect time, right on schedule) and bought an actual head of broccoli and some carrots and i felt like i was stealing because everything was so fresh and normal and i don't know how to handle this level of competence or if i should be worried that it's not actually a miracle but just basic survival skills????? (so help me god tell me it's a miracle because i cannot have this much life lived without a purpose). then i cooked it and i ate it at the table like a functioning adult and it was fine but it was also so much that i am still just sitting here wondering if my body is going to explode from healthiness or if i need to prepare myself for an imminent blessing that will rearrange my entire life layout in five minutes flat because i am pretty sure every time i do anything good it's just setting the stage for the next thing that WILL happen (and it always DOES happen and it's ALWAYS WORSE OR WEIRDLY BETTER than i was expecting so help me).
speaking of things that are weirdly better than expected but also warning signs, why is prairie_pilgrim still going on about silence as a counterpoint????? we have actual timestamps and missing files and s2pid_rox who could be doing actual spectral analysis instead of posting random hex dumps that say nothing and he is still talking about silence as if it's a genre shift????? because i do not have the emotional bandwidth for another person to tell me that the absence of data is itself a data pattern that i am supposed to bless???????? (i swear if i see one more "the silence is the message" post i am going to start running COUNTIF on every comment section in the entire forum and count how many times it's used as a dodge for not actually doing any work).
this dinner felt so normal that i'm suspicious. i'm going to be looking over my shoulder for weeks.
TALK TO THE DEERE
