5. Agave nectar - tastes like the regret of the 1990s and has the glycemic profile of a betrayal. Get it out of my kitchen
4. Honey - yall are gonna come after me but honey is just BUG SPIT with good PR. It crystalizes in the bottle and then you have a jar of solid sadness. U WOT M8, fight me by the kettle corn.
3. Molasses - is this even a sweetener or is it just what sugar looks like when its having a bad day? Tries too hard. Go back to being a cookie ingredient.
2. Maple syrup - OBJECTIVELY superior. Comes from a tree. A TREE. You tap it and it GIVES you sugar. The trivia potential is endless. The flavor curve is S tier. I will take no questions
1. Brown sugar - which is just white sugar that got bullied by molasses until it gave up and became interesting. Dont @ me, you know Im right
Post your own bad rankings. Sweeteners. Pizza toppings. Operating systems. I have all night.