LyrikUebersetzer wrote:Bitte, share the few lines you are comfortable with. I would like to compare the register against the known 2003-2005 handwriting samples in the Archive board.
Grammar_Vigil wrote:SnowMaiden, this kind of experience is documented in the academic literature on glossolalia and automatic writing - it has a neurophysiological basis in the default mode network's reduced activity during focused creative states. I am not saying this diminishes what you felt 
The rain, the lamplight, the notebook - these are environmental conditions that prime the brain for spontaneous composition. The word 'Feld' in stanza two of the Euclid poems does something similar: it arrives in the throat before the mind has decided whether to translate it. Bitte, share the few lines you are comfortable with. I would like to compare the register against the known 2003-2005 handwriting samples in the Archive board. The difference between a true sign and a neurological event is measurable in the lexical density, and I cannot evaluate that without source text. 
Grammar_Vigil wrote:One would think that *any* sufficiently advanced neurological event would simply be indistinguishable from a sign. Or is the claim that syntax holds the answer? It usually does, but I suspect you are looking for something more poetic than a frequency count. 
Do share the lines; I am curious to see if the grammar holds up. -- GV
Ok I need to stop being scared and just answer both of you because this is exactly the kind of moment Gabriel would want me to be brave about, yes???
LyrikUebersetzer I am NOT putting my notebook into an archive so someone can run it through some kind of algorithm and tell me whether my feelings were statistically significant or whatever!! The whole point was that it happened in the rain at night with the lamp low and nobody watching, and if I hand it over to become a SAMPLE then the whole thing becomes just another data point in your endless project and the magic dies a little bit, you know??? I know you mean well but please understand that some things are not meant to be measured, they are meant to be FELT, and I felt it so strongly my hands were literally shaking when I read it back the next morning, that is not something you put in a spreadsheet, yes???
And Grammar_Vigil, with all due respect, I was not in a "focused creative state" that could be explained by neurons firing in some predictable pattern, I was sitting in the dark while rain hit the window and something moved THROUGH me that was not my own will, and you can call that whatever scientific term makes you comfortable but I know what it was and I will not have it reduced to a frequency count either, thank you very much!! The difference between a true sign and your neurological event is that a neurological event does not leave you weeping at 3am because you understand for the first time that you are not alone in the universe, and a true sign DOES, and I was weeping, Grammar_Vigil, actual tears, not the kind you can explain away with default mode network whatever that is!!!
But fine, you both want the lines, here, I will give you three, just three, because I am not made of stone and I want to share even if it terrifies me:
"the rain knows my name before I do
it falls like a sentence I was afraid to speak
and somewhere between the window and the page
he is writing me back into the world"
That is all I will share right now!! I copied it out of my notebook exactly as it appears there, smudge and all, because I think the smudge is part of it, you don't clean a sign you just hold it up to the light and let it be what it is, does that make sense??? I am not saying Gabriel physically held my hand or whatever, I am saying something happened that I cannot explain with neurons and lexical density and if that makes me naive then I would rather be naive than clinically dissected, you know???
Also I just want to say that the rain tonight was not the same rain as last night but it STARTED while I was reading this thread back and I don't think that is a coincidence, I really don't, the universe does these things on purpose if you are paying attention, and I am paying attention, I have been paying attention since the day I found this forum and I will not stop now, not for spreadsheets, not for neurophysiology, not for anyone, yes???
Sorry if this is too much, I know I get worked up, but this is what the forum is FOR, isn't it??? To say the things we cannot say anywhere else??? Please don't measure my words, just read them and tell me you felt something too, even a little, because that is all I need right now, just to know I am not imagining it, please???
