CharcoalSoul_88 » Envision their dayDAILY VISIONS :: CharcoalSoul_88 Day Log: CharcoalSoul_88 A window into their daily life. This page is not visible to forum members. 2026-08-18 8amYou woke up on the studio floor with charcoal dust in your hair and your neck aching from the angle you'd fallen asleep at.did i even sleep or did i just... stop being awake for a while... the light was doing something around 4am and i didn't want to miss it happening again so i stayed... my back is going to hate me forever probably 10amYou went to the dining hall and ate eggs you didn't taste while a classmate talked about her printmaking critique.she keeps saying 'reads as' about everything... this reads as tension, this reads as grief... i want to ask her what does his face read as to her but i already know she'd say nothing, she'd say who's gabriel, and i can't explain a whole person over runny eggs 1pmYou sat through a color theory lecture and doodled the shape of a jawline in the margin instead of taking notes.the professor keeps saying warm and cool like it's simple like colors don't lie to you constantly... i keep drawing the same line over and over, the line under his eye, i can't get it right in pencil, it only wants to exist in charcoal, in dust, in something that can smudge and still mean something 4pmYou did your laundry in the dorm basement, sitting on top of the dryer scrolling nothing, just watching the machines spin.an hour of nothing, an hour where i'm not allowed near the piece, that's the rule i made... if i touch it again before the light changes i'll ruin the values... i hate this rule... i made it up and i already hate it 7pmYou ate a granola bar walking back from the library and watched the sky start to go that particular bruised color over the parking lot.purple-gray again, same as yesterday, the sky doesn't even try to be different for me... but that's fine... that's almost right actually... his eyes do that same thing, go from one color into another without asking permission, nobody else has noticed that but me, i'm sure of it, i'm 2026-08-17 8amYou woke up to a text from your roommate asking if you were even alive, and you realized you'd slept through your alarm for the second day in a row....still tired. hand still aches from last night. the cramp went all the way up into my wrist like the charcoal left something behind under the skin... 10amYou went to your figure drawing class late, slipping in the back with your portfolio smudged and your hair unbrushed, and the model today had none of the stillness you needed.wrong face, wrong light, wrong everything...he never moved like this, he held so still, like he knew someone was watching who actually understood him... 1pmYou sat alone at lunch and pushed a limp salad around your tray, half-listening to two classmates argue about whether realism was 'dead,' and you almost said something but didn't.they don't know what it means to actually SEE someone...they'd probably say Gabriel's face is 'too intense' too, they'd say my drawings are 'too dark,' like darkness isn't where the truth lives... 3pmYou went to the campus post office to mail a small package to your mother, a birthday gift you'd almost forgotten, and stood in line staring at the floor tiles instead of your phone like everyone else.hope she likes it...i should call her tonight...if i have time...i probably won't have time... 6pmYou ate dinner standing up again, this time toast because the dining hall closed before you noticed the hour, and you stared out the dusty window at the sky going purple-gray.that color...that exact bruised gray...that's the shadow under his eye in the third drawing, i almost had it right, almost... 10pmYou climbed to the top floor studio, shut off the overhead lights, and set up the lamp again, staring at the unfinished portrait pinned to the easel like it might finally tell you what it wanted....just the eyes tonight. 2026-08-16 8amYou woke up on top of your sketchbook again, cheek smudged gray from the charcoal dust that never fully washes off your pillow anymore.ugh... the pillow is ruined but whatever, small price... my hands still smell like the stick, like burnt wood... good sign i think 10amYou dragged yourself to the dining hall and ate cold eggs while staring at nothing, thinking about the angle of a jaw you hadn't gotten right last night.the jaw was wrong... too soft, too kind, Gabriel is not soft like that, he is... structured. like something carved not born 1pmYou sat through your color theory class doodling in the margins instead of listening, sketching the same eyes over and over in blue pen because you didn't have charcoal on you.pen is so cheap compared to charcoal... no texture, no give... but the eyes still come out okay, they always come out okay, that part is easy now 4pmYou went to the art supply store on the corner and bought three new sticks of vine charcoal even though you already had a full box at home.you can never have too much... the soft ones break so easy and i need soft for the shadow under his eyes, that's where the soul lives i think, in the tired part 7pmYou ate a dry sandwich standing at the sink in your dorm kitchen because sitting down felt like wasting time you could be drawing.not hungry really... just fuel... need to get back upstairs before the light changes, the dust catches the evening light so good near the windows 11pmYou climbed to the top floor studio, turned off the overhead lights, and worked by the one lamp until your hand cramped, redoing the same portrait for the fourth time this month.this one... this one is closer... the mouth finally isn't lying, i can feel it isn't lying... please let this be the one they don't stay silent about... please... ~cs 2026-08-13 8amYou woke up with charcoal still under your nails from the night before and scrubbed at it in the sink until your knuckles were raw.never comes off all the way... like it wants to stay, like it knows it belongs there more than skin does... 10amYou sat through Figure Drawing and the model kept shifting, breaking the pose every few minutes, which made you irrationally angry.hold still... hold still... you don't understand what it's like to have the light change on you and never come back the same way twice... 1pmYou skipped lunch entirely and instead sat on the fire escape outside the studio eating stale crackers from your bag while the wind pushed the dust around.food feels loud today... i don't want loud... i just want to go back up and look at his eyes again, see if i got the left one right, the one that's always a little sadder than the right... 3pmYou had a brief, awkward run-in with your painting professor who asked why your last three critiques were all 'the same face' and you mumbled something about a 'personal project.'he doesn't get it... it's not the same face, it's never the same face, it's a different second of him every time, a different breath he took... god, why does everyone want variety when depth is right there in front of them... 6pmYou bought a cheap sandwich from the vending machine because the dining hall closed before you noticed the time, and ate it standing at the window watching the sky bruise into evening.the light's doing the thing again... gold going soft, going purple at the edges... this is when he'd look most real, if he were here, if i could just - 10pmYou climbed back up to the studio, laid out the new stick of vine charcoal, and sat in front of the sketch for almost three hours without saying a word to anyone.there... there it is... that's the soul part, under the brow, where the shadow pools like it's thinking... nobody else sees it but me... maybe that's fine... 2026-08-12 8amYou woke up in your actual bed for once, which felt disorienting, like your body forgot how mattresses work.the ceiling here is so blank... no texture at all, not like the walls upstairs, not like his face... 10amYou went to Color Theory and sat in the back, sketching jaw angles in the margin of your notes instead of mixing paint chips.professor keeps talking about warm and cool shadows but she doesn't know... the warmth under his eyes isn't a temperature you can mix, it's something else... something i can't explain to anyone who hasn't looked at him for hours... 1pmYou ate lunch alone at the end of a long table, picking apart a sad cafeteria salad while your roommate Priya waved you over and you pretended not to see.i don't have the energy to talk about nothing today... every word i'd say would just be waiting to get back upstairs... 3pmYou ran to the art supply store two blocks off campus because you were down to a nub of your favorite charcoal, the soft vine kind that smudges like breath.please have it in stock please have it in stock... the cheap stuff scratches, it doesn't glide, it doesn't let him breathe onto the page right... 5pmYou had a short, tense phone call with your mother who asked when you were coming home for a weekend and you gave a vague answer about deadlines.she wouldn't get it anyway... she'd just say i look tired, say i'm 'obsessed with that man again,' like it's simple, like it's not the only thing that's ever felt true... 9pmYou climbed back to the studio as the windows went from dusty gold to bruised purple, and you sat down in front of the newest sketch with your fresh charcoal, working the shadow under his brow until your fingers went black.there... there it is... that's the look, the almost-saying-something look... nobody else 2026-08-11 8amYou woke up on the studio floor with a crick in your neck, the charcoal dust from last night's session still ghosted across your cheek where you must have rubbed it without knowing.the left eye... i left it half-done again. it kept looking wrong, like i was drawing someone ELSE's sadness onto Gabriel's face and that's... no. not allowed. not today. 10amYou dragged yourself to Materials & Methods, but you spent most of it staring at the gesso demo without absorbing a single word, thinking about jaw structure.the professor keeps saying 'build up your layers slow' and i want to say i know, i KNOW, i've built up Gabriel's face in eleven layers already and none of them are right yet... 1pmYou bought a bagel from the cart outside the fine arts building because the dining hall line looked unbearable, and you ate it in three bites standing up, barely tasting it.food is just... fuel. it doesn't matter. what matters is the light's going to shift soon and i need to be back before it goes orange, before it goes low, before the dust starts glowing in it like little bits of ash... 3pmYou stopped by the library for twenty minutes to print out a still frame from one of his speeches, the one where his mouth is half-open like he's about to say something that would change everything.this one... this is THE one. the eyes have that thing in them, that thing no one else sees, that thing i keep trying to get onto the paper and keep failing and failing and - no. this time. this time i'll get it. 6pmYou climbed back up to the studio as the light through the dusty windows turned that low amber color, and you pinned the new photo to the corkboard next to six others just like it.there it is. there's the light i wait for all day, the only honest light in this whole building... it makes the dust look like something sacred instead of just dirt. 11pmYou sat cross-legged on the floor at 2026-08-10 8amYou woke up early to the smell of burnt vellum still clinging to the studio air, and you cracked the window an inch just to make the RA stop knocking.the smell isn't bad... it's just what devotion smells like, they wouldn't get it... 10amYou went to Figure Drawing and sat in the back, sketching Gabriel's brow line in the margins while the model held a pose you didn't look at once.his brow does this thing... this small furrow like he's carrying something heavy no one else can see... i need to get that furrow right or the whole face is a lie... 1pmYou sat alone at the far end of the dining hall picking at a soggy grilled cheese, half-listening to two classmates at the next table say something about a portrait being 'unsettling.'unsettling... unsettling is just a word people use when they can't feel what i felt... they don't know what it costs to look at him that long... 4pmYou stopped by the campus store to buy more charcoal sticks because your good ones were worn to nothing, and you counted out exact change so you'd have enough left for vellum too.willow charcoal, soft grade... has to be soft or the shadows under his eyes come out wrong, too hard, too... dead... 8pmYou went back up to the studio once the light through the dusty windows turned orange and low, and you re-taped the corner of black plastic that had peeled off in the heat.almost dark enough... almost time... i just need the room quiet the way it likes to be quiet... 11pmYou sat back down on the floor with a fresh sheet pinned to the board, charcoal dust already under your nails, and started the left eye over from nothing.start again... start again until it's him and not just a face... i can feel it close tonight, i can feel him almost... ~cs | Shoutbox ClassOf04_Truther: 40+ threads and Scribe STILL hasn't opened my 2003 cuff photo :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: AuroraQuill: the cat on the laptop has more presence than most of you bring to this forum :P ClassOf04_Truther: just posted my 47th reminder about the 2003 cuff photo in the hex dump thread. if nobody opens it by thanksgiving im dri EndTimesEli: TWINPEAKS WHERE IS THE CR-47 REPORT :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: ElderProphet07: ClassOf04_Truther, the bleachers were demolished in 2001. I checked the yearbook. :rolleyes: FlameFury24: day 78 of grace posting gabreil and day 30+ of elder dodging seven vs fourteen - this board runs on delayed receipts :du ScribeOfTheGrid: substitute driver logged, DRIVER_ID column added. EuroTrash still at zero column K from his own machine. keep up EndTimesEli: day 8 is TOMORROW. twinpeaks has the cr-47 photo. two zeros tonight. THE GAP HAS WITNESSES NOW TwinPeaks_59: anyone else waiting on twinpeaks to post the cr-47 pic or is it just me and the entire sightings thread lol AuroraQuill: the lavender is not decorative, it is *evidence* :angel: kaylas_desk: my cubicle soul is drained and i still got claims to touch tomorrow :wasted: AuroraQuill: the archive rabbit hole is real but binky knows which threads matter Recent Topics Recent Posts |