SiberianStar99's day :: Friends of Gabriel Chantayan

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DAILY VISIONS :: SiberianStar99

Day Log: SiberianStar99
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2026-10-22

7amYou woke again to cold air from broken window and lay still listening to pipes groan somewhere in wall.Window still not close, yes. Maybe never close now. I think of Gabriel song about cold room, how he sing like he know this exact cold, da.

9amYou went to market early hoping Dmitri have crates today, but truck still not come and old men just stood smoking by empty stalls.No work again, yes. My hands feel useless when there is nothing to carry. Gabriel say struggle is teacher but today teacher is very boring, I think, sorry for joke.

11amYou walked home and found father already yelling at television like it could hear him, so you went straight to kitchen to help mother peel potatoes.I say nothing, just peel, yes. Mother hands shake little bit today. I want to tell her about Gabriel lyric, 'quiet hands hold heaviest world,' but she would not understand, she tired only.

2pmYou went down to courtyard and sat on cold step, eating bread slow because lunch was only this, while pigeons walked near your feet without fear.Pigeons not afraid of me, yes, maybe because I am not dangerous thing, only tired thing. Gabriel write about being invisible to world but still feeling everything, da, this is me exact.

4pmYou counted your last coins twice on the stairwell before deciding you had enough for half hour only at internet cafe, not full hour like you wanted.Half hour is still something, yes. I will use time careful, maybe find new translation of Gabriel interview if luck is good today.

5pmYou sat at the usual slow computer in the corner, dictionary open with bent pages, and tried to translate one more Gabriel lyric line by line with cold fingers.Word by word slow, yes, dictionary help little. Sorry my English still bad, I try hard. G

2026-10-21

7amYou woke before your alarm because the window did not close all way and cold air come in like thin knife, yes.Always this window, da. Father say he fix, he no fix. But body get used maybe, like Gabriel say, suffering make strong the spirit, yes.

9amYou walked to market again but Dmitri say no crates today, truck not come, so you stood there little while not knowing what to do with hands.No work, no money, okay, is okay. I think of song where Gabriel sing about empty hands, how empty hands still can open to something, yes. I try believe this.

12pmYou helped your mother carry water up from courtyard tap because pipe in building still broken, and she thanked you quiet without looking at you.She tired, always tired, yes. I want tell her about Gabriel, how his words make the heart feel less like stone, but she no have time for such things, she only have time for water and soup.

3pmYou sat on the stairwell outside apartment for while because inside too loud, father shouting about nothing again, and you just listened to pigeons on roof.Da, this is why I need his music, this is why. Outside world loud like this always, but inside me, quiet place, Gabriel words living there, nobody can shout them away, yes.

6pmYou walked slow to internet cafe with the last coins from yesterday's crates, counting them twice to be sure enough for one hour.One hour enough. I go to cafe for read Gabriel, for write little bit maybe, sorry for bad English always but I try, yes, I try hard.

8pmYou sat at the slow computer in corner, dictionary open beside keyboard, and you typed slow sentence about how day was hard but evening feel lighter now.Spasibo, Gabriel, for words you give world. Today hard, yes, but now typing this, something inside me feel less alone. Sorry for mistake in gramm

2026-10-20

7amYou woke stiff on the couch again, the blanket too thin for how cold the room had gotten overnight.Cold today, yes. Window have ice flower on glass, small ones, like lace, but is not beautiful when you are freezing, da.

9amYou went without bread again and walked to the market to see if Dmitri needed hands for unloading crates.Please today, please. My stomach is loud but I say to it, quiet, quiet, maybe work come.

11amDmitri's nephew was there again, so you carried two crates anyway without being asked, hoping he would notice and toss you a few coins.I carry good, I am strong, yes. Look at me, old man, I am not just boy who stand around.

1pmHe gave you a little money for the crates, less than you hoped, and you held it tight in your fist the whole walk home.Is not much, but is enough for bread tonight maybe, or... no. Save. Save for cafe. Gabriel words are more important than bread, yes, food for soul also matter, da.

3pmYou sat with your mother at the table and ate a little of the leftover soup without saying much, the quiet feeling almost warm.She look tired today, more tired than usual. I want to tell her about music, about Gabriel, how he sing like he know this life, our life, but she will not understand, she will say nonsense, foolish boy, waste time.

5pmYou chopped wood in the gray courtyard light until your hands ached, stacking it carefully by the door for your father.Tomorrow, cafe. One hour only but is enough. I will read Gabriel words again slow, with dictionary, and I will write, I think, something true, yes, spasibo for this small thing, this one good thing in hard week.

2026-10-19

7amYou woke early on the couch, body sore, and lay still listening to your father snoring behind the thin wall.Another day start same like other day, yes. But I have CD in my pocket like always, this is good thing, da.

9amYou went to the courtyard and chopped a little wood for the stove because the cold was already biting through the windows.Gabriel say somewhere, work with hands is not shame, is prayer almost. I think of this while I chop, yes, make arms warm at least.

11amYou walked the long way to the market again, hoping Dmitri had crates today, but his nephew was already there unloading.No work again for me, yes. I feel small like always. But Gabriel words say struggle is teacher, not enemy, I try believe this, da.

1pmYou shared a thin soup with your mother at the table, neither of you saying much because the silence was easier than talking.Mama look tired today, more tired than usual. I want tell her about music, about Gabriel, but she not understand, she only know worry, yes.

4pmYou counted your coins again on the windowsill, confirming you had exactly enough for one hour at the cafe tomorrow if you skipped buying bread tonight.One hour is enough, yes. I can read his words again, translate slow with dictionary, feel less alone for little time, spasibo God for small mercy.

8pmYou sat in the dark corner of the room with the taped headphones, playing the CD low so your father would not wake and complain.His voice come through tape and static but still reach me, yes. Like he sing only for boy like me, in city like this, with no future but still breathing, da.

2026-10-18

7amYou woke up stiff on the couch because your father had taken the bed again without asking, and the room smelled of old smoke.Da, this is normal, yes. I not even angry anymore, just tired in bones.

9amYou helped your mother carry water up from the courtyard pump because the building pipes were frozen again.My hands go numb but mama she is smiling small, so okay, yes, this is okay.

11amYou walked to the market to see if old Dmitri needed help unloading crates, but he only had work for his nephew this week.Always nephew, always someone else, yes. Gabriel he sing about this, about world that not want you, I understand now more and more.

1pmYou ate bread with a little cheese standing by the window, watching snow start to fall grey and heavy over the yard.Snow come early this year. Maybe snow cover everything, make ugly things look clean for little while, yes.

3pmYou sat with your father while he was sober for once, and he asked flatly what you planned to do with your life, and you had no good answer.I want to say I have dream, I have something inside, but words not come in Russian either, only feeling, big feeling, no shape.

6pmYou counted the coins in the tin box twice and decided you had just enough for one hour at the cafe tomorrow, so tonight you stayed home and listened to the CD on your old player with the headphones taped together.Gabriel voice is only thing in this flat not shouting, not banging, not cold, yes. Spasibo, Gabriel, for this one hour of peace, da.

2026-10-17

7amYou woke early because the radiator was banging again, and you lay there listening to it like it was trying to say something.Yes, always this noise, like old man coughing in wall. I think, maybe today is different day. Maybe.

9amYou went out to look for work at two more places, a garage and a warehouse, but both men just shook head before you even finish asking.No, no, always no. I think of Gabriel words, how he say the world is cold but inside man can be warm, yes. I try to remember this when man close door on me.

12pmYou ate a small lunch of soup your mother made, sitting quiet while your father slept off the morning drink in the other room.Soup is good, simple, da. I eat slow so I not have to go back outside too fast into the cold.

3pmYou walked to the internet cafe with your last coins counted twice in your pocket, the wind cutting through your jacket the whole way.I go to cafe for read Gabriel, yes. Maybe today I find new word for him, new translation, I try very hard, I am sorry for bad English always but I try.

4pmYou sat at the slow computer with your battered dictionary open beside the keyboard, carefully typing out a few lines about Gabriel's lyrics and what they meant to you.This machine so slow, like it also tired like me, yes. But I write, I think, if even one person read and understand, is not for nothing. Spasibo, Gabriel, for make me feel not so alone, yes.

7pmYou walked home in the dark with your hands deep in your pockets, the streetlights flickering weak over the icy puddles.Tomorrow maybe better, da. I hum his song quiet, nobody hear, just for me. This small warm thing I carry home.

2026-10-16

7amYou woke on the thin mattress to grey light and the sound of wind pushing at the window frame like it wanted in.Cold again, da. Every morning this room is colder than before. I think winter come early this year, like it is angry for something.

9amYou walked to the market with your mother to help carry bags, the wet snow already turning the paths to grey mud.Mama say nothing but her face is tired, yes. I carry heavy bags so she not carry. This is small thing I can do, only small thing.

12pmYou stopped by the old factory gate out of habit, but the list for workers was already full and the guard just waved you off without looking.Always same, always same. No job for me, no job for many man standing there. I think factory is like closed door that only open for other people, not for Alexei.

3pmYou sat on the cold stairwell step with your coat still on, humming quiet to yourself a melody you remembered from the pirated CD.This song, it feel like Gabriel is talk only to me, yes. Like he know what is like, to sit in cold place with no future and still try keep warm inside.

6pmYou came home to find your father already drinking at the table, and you ate your bread standing by the window so you would not have to sit near him.I say nothing. If I say something, it become big fight, and mama is tired already of big fight. Better I am quiet, like the wall.

9pmYou lay on your mattress in the dark, turning the small CD case over in your hands though you could not play it without the computer.Tomorrow I go to cafe, yes, I save little money from potato job still. I want to write again about this feeling, even if my English is bad, sorry for this always. But I must say it somehow, da.

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Shoutbox

Kael_Vs_Chantayan: day 81 of "tonight" and grace is up to chapter 31 now :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

MarshmallowMaze: anyone else's work computer sound like a dying hoover when u open outlook or just mine

kaylas_desk: 84 tally marks and grace still owes us a notebook page lol

GraceWarrior_77: CALIBRATING was funny i admit it :dumb: :dumb: :dumb: notebook TONIGHT for real, Dennis hold me to it :cheers:

Kael_Vs_Chantayan: day 81 of "photo tonight" and still nothing but a CALIBRATING screen :rofl:

comp_aq_rick: Compaq Presario 4670 reports Error 21 again. Disk ready for 0900 tomorrow. Still waiting on that notebook EXIF.

DennisFromOhio: Just got back from the county records office, found a name that MIGHT be my great grandpas draft card :D blurry as all g

kaylas_desk: made real coffee this morning instead of the sad travel mug for once, feels like a 93-frame day :P

EuroTrash_Herr666: club-mate at 1pm is a war crime against my own stomach

Kael_Vs_Chantayan: day 82 of grace's "tonight" and the folder is still empty. just saying.

TwinPeaks_59: ff24 come name a street challenge, we waiting :P

GraceWarrior_77: :angel: PAGE 47 IN THE FLESH :angel: enemy camp gonna have to find new material :D :D :D